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Author Topic: Self Worth  (Read 14042 times)

Self Worth
« on: September 07, 2010, 12:29:44 pm »
M Htp everyone:

Something I've been kicking around in my head for the past few days and have been wanting to share with all of you is a question.

How do you define self worth?

I define it through the eyes of others. I can look at my life and accomplishments and gain value from those things, but in order to not become puffed up with pride I tend to ask others how they see me, so that I can make any changes (if I feel the need).  I really do care a lot about other people's opinions, although I can come off as a little harsh sometimes.  It's not in my nature to be this way, but happens from time to time.
I try to gauge my value as a human through the friendships I have and the love that I receive/don't receive from others.  If I am ignored by those I care about, then I feel less than a person and often succumb to depression.  I know others aren't perfect and no one has all the answers.
I don't define myself by my career as my career isn't something that motivates me in my life.  It's just a means to an end.
Last time I had thoughts such as these I withdrew from the community.  This time I vow not to, not only because it's not a good thing to do to shut others out, but because I made a promise to a dear friend not to.

So I ask again.  
How do you define self worth?

Senebty,
"Do not be arrogant because of your knowledge, but confer with the ignorant man as with the learned. For knowledge has no limits, and none has yet achieved perfection in it." - The Maxims of Pthahotep

Son of Hethert-Mut/Heru-Wer Beloved of Yinepu, Set and Djehuty

Re: Self Worth
« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2010, 01:10:07 pm »
I would amend that to say that while I take other peoples considerations and POV into opinion. I would be a shattered mess if I tried to define my self worth by what other people think of me. Basically I have to attempt to live up to MY own standards. That's enough of a battle as is.
Timu

Sat Aset, meryt Wepwawet her Renenutet


Offline Devo

  • Remetj
Re: Self Worth
« Reply #2 on: September 07, 2010, 01:29:11 pm »
I take it mean how do I define my own self worth. I define "self worth" as the value one places in themselves, or how valuable a person feels they are. How I define it in me is a tough battle. More or less, I use my own standards, and allow for the fact that my standards might not always be reached. I know I am (at the core) a good person, though I might make mistakes. For me, that's not a big deal though- it's part of life. Beyond that, I know that I'm making a difference in my own life, and hopefully in the lives of those around me (and hopefully in a better way!). I guess that alone lets me know that I am valuable, and that I value myself as a person.

Really, it's a hard thing for me to define in that regard. I have not had problems with valuing myself in a long time- I know that I'm worth being around. However, my s.o. has problems with it from time to time- as he has overly high standards about who he thinks he should be (often times based off of his family's overly high standards). In the end, I think it's a balance of both.

Nice and confusing!

-Devo
dA | FB | Tumblr | WP

Re: Self Worth
« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2010, 02:24:46 pm »
Self-worth to me is how I feel about myself as a human being.  I hold myself to a high standard and judge myself pretty harshly when I fall short of my expectations. I believe I'm responsible for my own self-worth and while I do care what other people think of me, I try not to let their opinions affect me too deeply.  
Deep into the darkness, peering
     long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal
     ever dared to dream before.

     - Edgar Allan Poe, "The Raven"

Offline kathleen

  • Remetj
  • Country: us
Re: Self Worth
« Reply #4 on: September 07, 2010, 09:02:45 pm »
to me, "self-worth" is a human concept, which to me means it has limited value as a concept.  no other species on Earth spends time wondering if they are a "good" individual or not, whether they have the right to exist or not.  they simply *do*.  they fulfill the purpose for which they were put here, simply by being what they are and not trying to change it.  now, that being said, i do recognize that AS human beings, we *need* to have some measure of self-worth in order to have a healthy psyche.  perhaps as the species occupying the top of the food chain, Netjer instilled this need in us as a form of self-accountability.  so, for me, self-worth is defined by whether or not I can say to myself honestly that I am still TRYING to be a good person.  we are the only species that has the sophistication to even TRY to change our behavior; therefore, I believe that we have the responsibility to do so when it's warranted.  of course we are going to make mistakes, to fail, to fall short (in many cases) of both Netjer's standards and our own.  but i believe that it is in learning from our mistakes and continuing to try without giving up that we earn our self-worth.
Redheads are descended from cats. --Mark Twain

Offline Meket

  • Shemsu
Re: Self Worth
« Reply #5 on: September 07, 2010, 10:19:17 pm »
To me, self-worth is a matter of asking two questions:

"What have I done to deserve what I have?"
"What have I done to help others?"

By "what I have" I mean the things in my life that make me happy - love and direction from the gods, my husband, my furbabies, my home, my job, my friends, and even the trivial physical things and geeky toys that I've filled my house with.

Helping others is kind of obvious.

The answer, of course, is usually not enough - which pushes me to work harder, love more, and be a better person.  

I measure my self-worth by my ability to sit down at the end of the day, take a deep breath, and feel like I have worked hard, contributed, and helped others to be happy, even if it's in the most insignificant way.  I went through a dark time in my life where I woke up every day feeling like I was worthless.  Now I wake up every day feeling like I have a whole new chance to work my arse off and make a difference.  ^_^
Meketserqet
Serqet Protects / Serqet's Protection
Sat [color:red]Serqet-Aset[/color], Meryt [color:blue]Set, Heru-wer, Djehuty,[/color] her [color:blue]Satet[/color]!

"No more tears," He said.  "Only your strength will do."

Offline Asetwedjbai

  • Divined Remetj
  • Country: ca
Re: Self Worth
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2010, 12:56:44 am »
I have a history of depression, and I have come to realize that it is something that I will have to deal with for the rest of my life.  My depressed self doesn't believe that I deserve any love, attention, or affection from people or the divine.  I have to learn to live my life in a way that shows that I am.  

I used to be a very harsh critic of myself (and I still tend to be) but now I try to be easier on myself.  My philosophy is if I'm learning and growing from my mistakes, then it's okay.

I also think "would I say this to a friend?"  Chances are, no: I'm a lot more likely to try and work with a friend through a problem than give up...I think I should treat myself with the same consideration.  

Self-talk is an important thing.  Really listen to how you talk to/about yourself.  If inside you're head you're saying "I suck, I'm not good enough, why can't I be more or be less..." then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

It's not easy, building up your own self-worth.  And I backslide.  It's a lifelong process.

senebty, Wedjbai
Wedjbai
sat Aset-Amenti
meryt Hethert, Wesir, Yinepu, Nut &
Nebthet

Offline Demaimuti

  • Shemsu
  • Country: au
Re: Self Worth
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2010, 07:59:58 am »
Adding a big 'Me too' to Wedjbai's post.

There's a reason why one of the 42 purifications says "Hail Bast, I do not eat my heart".
sat Bast her Hethert-Mut, meryt Aset-Serqet, Heru-wer, Djehuty.

Artist and writer.
Demai on Deviant Art
Demai on Medium

Offline Phoenix_Falls

  • Divined Remetj
Re: Self Worth
« Reply #8 on: September 08, 2010, 11:09:32 am »
I'm in agreement with Wedjbai and Demaimuti. I have days where I can completely see my own worth and feel good about the things I have accomplished and the things I am going to accomplish, but I struggle a lot with low self-esteem brought on by years of physical/emotional abuse, an ongoing battle with PTSD and a serious (if left unchecked) mental disorder.

Sometimes it's hard for me to even see my own self-worth, let alone define it. I've found though, that Sekhmet in particular really doesn't like self-deprecation. I've had Her flat out tell me "if you're so worthless, why do any of Us talk to you?" which, you know, makes a lot of sense =)

I try to define my self worth based on living within ma'at. At this point in my life, I've learned to stop caring what other people think of me because I've heard it all: disparaging remarks about my heritage, my height, my hair, my spirituality, my schizoaffected disorder, my family, my past, you name it, I've heard it. People are going to think whatever they're going to think regardless of my actions so I try not to stock too much faith in what other people think of me personally. Even if it's good, I always strive to be better, I don't want to get complacent and start growing a big ol ego ;)
[color:red]"Ki'sommkiistomisam waamisookiiksisapooi" [/color]
My tumblr
[color:blue]Sat Wepwawet-Yinepu meryt Sekhmet-Hethert[/color]
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Offline Devo

  • Remetj
Re: Self Worth
« Reply #9 on: September 08, 2010, 11:27:00 am »
Quote from: Phoenix_Falls
"if you're so worthless, why do any of Us talk to you?"


If I ever approach Setekh in a self-pitying type of mood, or being to wallow in useless misery, he usually curb checks me as well- telling me to snap out of it and get over it.

-Devo
dA | FB | Tumblr | WP

Re: Self Worth
« Reply #10 on: September 14, 2010, 12:41:39 am »
For me self worth lies in continual self expression. The endless journey. I remind myself that there is never any point at which I can stop and say, "Here I am. I made it here. So the job is done. The prize is mine." There may be beautiful shining moments along the path. But whether the moments are shining or dark, there is a danger in taking the achievement line of thinking too far.

The swell of pride in accomplishment, or ebb in failure are natural. It is well and good to look at the course of our lives and make adjustments to our navigation. But to prevent the mirrored extremes of hubris and despair, it is important to remember that who and what we are as human beings goes so far beyond what we our conscious knowledge. In our darkest moments, we might not realize the light we have brought to another's life, even through a simple smile.

As a child, I was raised to be polite. And so I told the lunch ladies at my grade school "Thank you and have a nice day" everyday when they handed me my lunch tray. I never thought much of it. But on my last day at that school, one of the elderly lunch ladies pulled me aside during lunch and thanked me with tear filled eyes for being the only student who wished her a nice day, 5 days a week, for 8 years straight. I was so shocked by her gratitude, and that my mere civility had such an impact, I could only mumble my way through a response.

This experience helped to teach me that as important as it can be to use a keen intellect and a critical mind in judging things, there will always be things that are unnoticed by the mind. It is not possible to take every factor into consideration. But these events still make up the organic world. The web of life catches everything. And the ripples in the pond will always be felt by someone, even if you can't see it yourself.

Self reflection is important in developing character. I think everyone wants to rest assured that their time on this world was worthwhile. But if we only look to the specific events, accomplishments, and opinions in our lives we may be taking too narrow a view. Sometimes, to find the worth in the while, one must trust the while to have its own worth.

When I live my life to the fullest, opening myself up to whatever may come, that is when I feel the greatest assuredness in my own existence. It's easier to swim once you trust the water to keep you afloat. This doesn't mean that the water does the swimming for you. You still have to kick and paddle. But I have found that when I have trusted in life itself, and expressed myself fully and honestly, that is when my efforts are most rewarded with fulfillment.

There is great beauty even in the everyday disasters that make up human life. Trust in that beauty.
"So the bodhisattva saves all beings, not by preaching sermons to them, but by showing them that they are delivered, they are liberated, by the act of not being able to stop changing." - Alan Watts

Offline Linda

  • Remetj
  • Country: gb
Re: Self Worth
« Reply #11 on: September 14, 2010, 05:24:44 am »
Em hotep Wolf-Cub. You have certainly given us something to think about. I find that it's the simple things that we do for others, like holding a door open or wishing someone well, that most often give the greatest pleasure and a simple smile can make someones day. i think that we never stop learning and growing, no matter how much we think we know.  :)
You don't know what you can do until you try.

Re: Self Worth
« Reply #12 on: September 14, 2010, 08:52:15 am »
M Htp!

@Wolfcub  I agree with what you've said here.  I think I said the same thing, just not as eloquently as you have.

I think all things should be done with love in mind.  Either love for those we interact with or love for ourselves (but not selfish love).  I try to put others' interests ahead of my own (which is the best thing I kept from Christianity) and put my own needs second.  Unfortunately not everyone in the world practices this and so instead of everyone working towards the betterment of all, there are some who do as they please and seem to care nothing for the feelings of others.

How much better a place this world would be if all things were done with love.

Senebty,
"Do not be arrogant because of your knowledge, but confer with the ignorant man as with the learned. For knowledge has no limits, and none has yet achieved perfection in it." - The Maxims of Pthahotep

Son of Hethert-Mut/Heru-Wer Beloved of Yinepu, Set and Djehuty

Offline Devo

  • Remetj
Re: Self Worth
« Reply #13 on: September 14, 2010, 09:01:22 am »
Quote from: Kheper

 I try to put others' interests ahead of my own (which is the best thing I kept from Christianity) and put my own needs second.  


I think that this can be a good thing, but also a very very bad thing, depending on the circumstances. I know many people who put others first to their own detrement. Their health fails, their money fails, etc. When people start to help others to their own doom, it does no good. For example, my parents have gotten into the habit of helping my step-fathers parents whenever things go wrong. Their truck broke down? No worries, my parents gave them their truck. Can't pay the mortgage? We'll help out! Sounds nice, but really it's done nothing but put strain and stress on my parents own circumstances. In that case, it serves no good- you help these people out, and then lose your house for it- now you'll both be out on the streets sort of thing. So when helping others, I think it's best that your foundations are well laid before putting yourself out for others. Otherwise, you risk ruining your own life.

Just my two cents :)

-Devo
dA | FB | Tumblr | WP

Re: Self Worth
« Reply #14 on: September 14, 2010, 09:12:38 am »
I second that Dev, if you can't take care of yourself and your own needs, you're not going to be very effective in helping others.
Timu

Sat Aset, meryt Wepwawet her Renenutet


 


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