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Author Topic: The afterlife and punishment for suicide?  (Read 5674 times)

Offline Remenit

  • Rev Emma, Ordained Clergy, Webmaster
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  • Country: gb
Re: The afterlife and punishment for suicide?
« Reply #15 on: October 30, 2016, 06:31:14 am »
Drs can help with other things, but you're right, they can't help with putting a roof over your familys help. But they CAN help you while you get yourself in a position to be able to help your family. And YOU can help your family. And you can only ever do what while alive.

I've just checked your location. Have you spoken to the CAB? They will be able to point you in the right direction; what's what they're there for.

Be careful with your actions. You speak of nothing to fill that void. But have you considered you're the thing that fills your family's void? If you want to do the best thing for them, continue living. Don't let this beat you.
Remenit Nesyutenmutes
-
Child of Sekhmet and Nit
Beloved of Bast, Yinepu and Aset

Offline Tjemsy

  • W'ab Priest - Lay Clergy
  • Country: us
Re: The afterlife and punishment for suicide?
« Reply #16 on: October 30, 2016, 07:51:32 am »
You are not being a Debbie Downer. There is no such thing. "Debbie Downer" is a term created by people who don't care to make people feel bad for expressing "negative" emotions.

I know about being a "magnet" for bad luck. I have had so many horrible things happen to me that it's unbelievable. People who are hostile toward me jump at the opportunity to blame me for this: I'm bad; or cursed; or evil; or I'm doing something horribly, horribly wrong to bring all of this misfortune on myself. It's my fault, I deserve it.

They are wrong.

It doesn't matter who says it, how often they say it, or how many people say it. They are wrong. How much of the world mistreats others and feels no wrong for it? I am sorry to hear that those you have talked to have proven unhelpful. Unfortunately, it is a reality that much of those working in the mental health field are poorly trained in counselling suicidal individuals, and worse, some don't care. I realize that you must feel that continuing to reach out only to have you needs unmet must make this process feel completely futile, and I understand. It's hard to keep moving forward when the world is pushing back against you, but there are people who can help you, people who do care.

It is true that medication alone will not solve your family's physical needs, or improve your financial situation. But it is important that you know that medication does not make you weak. The idea that medication is bad is created, again, by People Who Don't Care. Medication does help many people. Not long ago, I myself was so utterly choked by despair that I was unable to work - or do anything - for several months. My body refused to do anything but sleep, and I slept for around 18 hours a day, every day, against my will. This started when I was working, and despite having a split shift and taking a four-hour nap between, I physically could not hold myself up. I couldn't eat, or shower. Nothing. Medication has helped me tremendously in minimizing that, and while I am not "cured," I can now get all the way to 8 or 9pm before crashing. I can work, which has improved my ability to make money, which has improved my quality of living. And I have a surge of vitality that helps me do better in what I do; I can work harder, and I feel better about it. I'm working three jobs now, when before working one was an impossibility. It is not a cure-all solution - medication has not removed my pain or my problems - and it can be a long process to finding what you really need, but for many people, medication has changed their lives in a powerful and positive way.

Insurance will not give anything to your family if they have any reason to suspect that your death was not accidental. Simply working as a firefighter will not help you if you are in any way known to be contemplating suicide. Suppose that you pass to the West, and your insurance company determines that your family will receive no compensation.  You will be gone, and they will be no better. What then?

Not long ago, I myself was a second from committing suicide. I had completely and wholly convinced myself that it would benefit those I love to stop existing, and somehow roboted my way into hospitalizing myself right then, Dua Netjer. The hospitalization itself did not help me, but it (sadly) took me coming that close to the edge to alert my neurotypical friends that I was not just overreacting and I was seriously, seriously unwell. Notably, my friends immediately removed me from my abusive mother's home and put me up themselves, and decreed that under no circumstances would I be made to stay with any member of my abusive family. A lot of doors opened for me that did not "solve" my problems, but alleviated them, and gave me the ability to fight back against them. I'm still moving through them, and they continue to appear.

I could not see value in my own life, then. I eventually came to realize that even if my death could in some small way benefit my loved ones, and even if I thought that benefit would be greater than the grief - no matter how "small" I might believe that grief to be - they would feel from my loss, that benefit would be only temporary. I want my people to be well now, and even if it might be pressing that their needs be met as immediately as possible, I also wish for them to be well always. In death, there is much less I can do for them, even as an Akh, even knowing that working with the dead is possible. In death, I would not be here. If I want to protect my people and care for them and ensure their comfort and happiness not just now but always, the best way to do that is to live. If I am dead, I cannot hug them when they are sad. If I am dead, I cannot cook for those who are hungry but unable to feed themselves. If I am dead, I cannot show anyone how to search for a job or polish their resume. I cannot hang posters for someone who has lost their dog and is too distraught to do so, or search shelters for them. Even if there are other people who could "take my place" and accomplish these things, I cannot guarantee that these people will come forward, or that they will continue to stand for mine. And I will not risk leaving them alone, not for any period of time.

If I am dead, I might be "always there," in a spiritual sense, but I would be still gone. Even if I am "always there," I cannot guarantee that my people will be able to feel my presence, or that they will hear me when they most need to. They must be able to see me, hear me, feel me, in a way that can never be denied. I will not risk leaving them without support, not for any period of time. I must be there, so I must live.

May Wepwawet open the way for you.
May Sekhmet send you healing.
And may Set give you strength.

Netjer will not condemn you or your family to suffering. And we of the House do not wish you to suffer, either. We once had something called the Secret Cow, a sort of donation fund for members suffering extreme financial hardship. If money is your most pressing problem, we may be able to help you. We can also help to circulate a sort of GoFundMe or related thing to ensure your family's needs are met in a more physical way.
Tjemsy - "Two Red Ones"

Sat Sekhmet her Set
Meryt Heru-wer, Bast, Wepwawet, Taweret, Nebthet,
 & Nefertem-Imhotep

Re: The afterlife and punishment for suicide?
« Reply #17 on: October 31, 2016, 05:11:02 am »
I wish I had never spoken to the doctors. They gave me pills that made me feel unbearably unwell and made my mood worse, those are on my medical records now and mean I'm unlikely to find work in any field that won't just lead me right back to this frame of mind in a few months.

By looking for help to save my life I've removed any chance at a future worth living for. This just confirms my belief that the strongest force in nature is not the Strong Nuclear force but is, in fact, irony. 

Between the army, the Royal Navy, the coastguard, the civil air patrol and the fire service I've spent my whole life trying to save the world, I suppose, but when it came right down to it I couldn't even perform the most basic duty of providing for my children.

I don't deserve to live and I don't really want to any more. The shame is too much. The weight of so many failed careers and my failure as a father has become unbearable.

Maybe the insurance won't pay out- if only I'd taken the policy out 6 months earlier the suicide clause would have expired by now- but there's still the fire service death-in-service benefit and union fund.

I won't lie; I'd much rather stay with my family, but I can't bear it any more. I can't seem to convey to other people everything that I've lost, they don't seem to understand or care. Why would they, though?

I thought, you know, that maybe I'd earned a better ending than this, but that's not how it works, is it? 'There is no justice, there's just us.'   

I'm sorry. This isn't what this forum is for. I'll be off now.

Thanks for the replies, though.
'To you a hero is some kind of weird sandwich...'

Offline Rayashi

  • W'ab Priest - Lay Clergy
  • Country: us
The afterlife and punishment for suicide?
« Reply #18 on: October 31, 2016, 09:31:06 am »
Between the army, the Royal Navy, the coastguard, the civil air patrol and the fire service I've spent my whole life trying to save the world, I suppose, but when it came right down to it I couldn't even perform the most basic duty of providing for my children.
The helpline numbers above are generic.  You need to go to this website and click "24-hour helpline" right now and talk to someone who understand your shoes a little more.  I know here in the states, we've begun implementing alternative treatment for our brothers and sisters contemplating taking their lives.  We even have acupuncture at the hospital I work at.
http://www.combatstress.org.uk
If you don't find that helpful, call ours.
https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/mobile/

-Your Sister in Arms
U.S. Navy
Rayashi (Yashi) - "Ra calls me"
Sat Ra her Hekatawy Alexandros (AUS)
Meryt Heru-sa-Aset, Wepwawet-Yinepu, Nut, Sekhmet-Hethert, Sokar-Wesir, her Min

Etsy

 


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