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Author Topic: Dear Bast-Mut and Heru-wer  (Read 3402 times)

Online Padjaiemweru

  • Shemsu-Ankh
  • Country: us
Dear Bast-Mut and Heru-wer
« on: November 01, 2016, 05:02:23 am »
My dearest Mother, my most amazing Father:

I am so sorry. A parent is supposed live their life for their children. They are supposed to make any sacrifices needed, whether that be working extra hours/jobs, taking them to the doctor, changing plans and life goals, etc.

I have not been a good parent, not followed the example You tried to give me.  The last few years I gave in to my ongoing illnesses and stopped being a parent to my furbabies. And sometime tonight, while I wasn't home, my baby girl went to the rainbow bridge to wait for me.

She had been sick for a while, but I couldn't afford, no, I chose to live a life where I wouldn't be able to afford the care she would need. The last week, she was getting significantly worse, and I knew the time was close, but, oh Gods it still hurts so much. I feel like I failed so hard, that not only wasn't I here in her final moments, but she was in pain and I couldn't do anything to help her.

I'm sorry Snick. I'm sorry Bast-Mut. I'm sorry Heru-wer.

Now is the time for change, to become a better parent for her brother, Spunky, the kind of parent I should have been to her.

I guess the prayers I am asking for are for me, to help me be the person I should have been all along.  Snick needs no prayers, for was always pure and amazing and a wonderful help in my life. I know she is no longer in pain, I know she waits for me...


(don't know if this link will work, trying to figure it out, if it does, I will add a few more pics of my girl...)
This is the two of them, just this early spring. --> https://www.flickr.com/photos/133370625@N06/26496572455/in/dateposted-public/
Padjaiemweru
The Great Ones provide (for) me

Son of Bast-Mut and Heru-wer
Beloved of Sekhmet-Hethert, Seshat-Nit-Nebthet, and Set

(Avatar based on work by Jennie Breedon)

Online Padjaiemweru

  • Shemsu-Ankh
  • Country: us
Re: Dear Bast-Mut and Heru-wer
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2016, 05:08:05 am »
Padjaiemweru
The Great Ones provide (for) me

Son of Bast-Mut and Heru-wer
Beloved of Sekhmet-Hethert, Seshat-Nit-Nebthet, and Set

(Avatar based on work by Jennie Breedon)

Offline Saymari

  • Shemsu
  • Country: us
Re: Dear Bast-Mut and Heru-wer
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2016, 05:30:26 am »
I am sure she would rather not have you blame yourself.
You are human and you are fragile and you make mistakes as we all do. This time will be hard enough without blaming yourself. Your first responsibility is to you, in the end and if you do not then you can not take care of others. I hope that you will heal and I hope grow from this experience.
I mourn your lost with you.

I also hope I do not come off as if I know things I do not; I know it can be hard and I would like to think that she has already forgiven you and that she watches you as surely as my dead keep me.
On an eternal search for the truth with occasional stops for snacks and site seeing.

Hey guys, I am trying to get some practice with some oracle work. Anyone who wants a reading please feel free to message me ^_^

Offline Awibemhethert

  • Rev Ellen, Ordained Priest - Web Assistant
  • Administrator
  • *****
  • Country: us
Re: Dear Bast-Mut and Heru-wer
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2016, 06:57:51 am »
Prayers and hugs, if acceptable.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Rev Awibemhethert
Sat Hethert-Sekhmet
meryt Wesir

Self-Care Hethert Keeper

Offline Tjemsy

  • W'ab Priest - Lay Clergy
  • Country: us
Re: Dear Bast-Mut and Heru-wer
« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2016, 07:27:39 am »
I'm so sorry for your loss.

There is this notion that people should live for their loved ones, at their own expense, and that notion is both unfair and unrealistic. Your loved ones have needs, and you do, as well. Should not the goal be to met the needs of all, the best you can? If you run yourself into the ground trying to care for others, the care you provide will ultimately be of lesser quality. While self-sacrifice is indeed noble, there is a fine line between self-sacrifice and self-ruin.

Sometimes, pets become sick and need care that is very expensive. Sometimes, one cannot afford the best option, and must make a difficult decision. It's hard to be in that position. For some people, providing the best care would mean completely dismantling their own lives. Don't feel badly because you didn't. It is not your fault that you have an illness, and you have not failed anyone because you didn't "fight" it.

I am so sorry that you couldn't be with Snick when she passed. I cannot imagine how hard that must have been for you. Sometimes, it is a reality that we cannot be with our loved ones all of the time, no matter how much we might want to. I would like to think that Netjer were with her in her final moments, comforting her in your stead. I am sure Snick would understand.

Don't apologize to your Parents for not being "good enough." As Saymari said, this time is difficult enough, and there is no need to drag yourself down. Your Parents love you and want what is best for you, and they would not blame you for your loss. They would not want you to blame yourself.

There is always potential for self-improvement, and I admire your intention to be a better parent to Spunky. Just remember to take care of yourself, too. There is a fine line between self-sacrifice and self-ruin.

May Nebthet comfort you, and your Parents guide Snick in her journey West. May Sekhmet send you healing, and Set give you strength.
Tjemsy - "Two Red Ones"

Sat Sekhmet her Set
Meryt Heru-wer, Bast, Wepwawet, Taweret, Nebthet,
 & Nefertem-Imhotep

Offline Nehwen

  • Divined Remetj
  • Country: us
Re: Dear Bast-Mut and Heru-wer
« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2016, 08:23:09 am »
Snickers knew she was loved.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  May Bast-Mut guide her to the next life, and may there be plenty of kitty nip and sunny spots for her to nap in.  Prayers for you and Spunky.
Sat Wesir | Meryt Bast her Serqet-Aset

Now not only day shall be beloved, but night too shall be beautiful and blessed and all its fear pass away!. -J.R.R. Tolkien

Online Senuwierneheh

  • Shemsu-Ankh
  • Country: us
Re: Dear Bast-Mut and Heru-wer
« Reply #6 on: November 01, 2016, 08:49:37 am »
I agree with what everyone else has written, don't blame yourself, Padjaiemweru.

May comfort and peace be yours.  May Bast-Mut wrap her loving protective arms around you.

Neheh...
Senuwierneheh (My Two, forever)
Sat Hethert-Sekhmet her Set, meryt Ptah-Sokar-Wesir, Djehuty, her Heru-Wer
Self-care Hethert, Set and Ptah Advocate
𓁥 𓁣 𓁰

Offline Sha'ersenu

  • Shemsu
  • Country: br
Re: Dear Bast-Mut and Heru-wer
« Reply #7 on: November 01, 2016, 04:47:41 pm »
I feel sorry for your pain... but go strong, some things escape our control and strenght...

Enviado de meu SM-G3812B usando Tapatalk

Sha'ersenu
"Worthy of Two"
Sat Sekhmet-Hethert her Set
Meryt Wesir, Ra, Heru-wer her Aset-Serqet

Offline Gezausenu

  • Guest
  • Country: us
Re: Dear Bast-Mut and Heru-wer
« Reply #8 on: November 01, 2016, 05:45:03 pm »
Prayers for you and for Snick. Please don't blame yourself. You really did do the best with what you had at the time. As others have said, running yourself into the ground or completely dismantling your life for another, no matter how loved, isn't always a realistic thing to do--or a kind thing to do, for anyone involved.

May your Mother wrap Her arms around you, may your Father give you strength. Peace, deep peace, to you friend. This is not your fault; Snick was loved, as is her brother; you are human, and fragile (as are we all); sometimes these things happen and to blame ourselves doesn't bring us peace.

<3 If you ever wish to talk, my inbox is open.

Senebty,
Gezausenu.
I have left the House, but free services for Papa Set and Mama Sekhmet will always be offered to anyone who asks. Please e-mail me at gezausenu@gmail.com if you need anything at all. Ever. <3

Offline Taqerisenu

  • Shemsu-Ankh
  • Country: us
Re: Dear Bast-Mut and Heru-wer
« Reply #9 on: November 02, 2016, 12:11:27 am »
Prayers for your loss, sibling. I'm so sorry. It's very clear you loved Snick, deeply. There is a particular grief that comes with losing a sick pet, a helplessness. I remember how whatever I was able to do for Tabitha never felt like enough. Know that your love was undoubtedly felt. I will pray to our Parents for Snick's safe journey West, and for comfort for you, as you grieve her.
Taqerisenu
("The Attendant of Two," or "The One That Attends to Two")

Sat Heru-wer her Bast her Hekatawy Alexandros (AUS!)
Meryt Ra, Set, her Nebthet-Nit-Seshat.

Offline Shezatwepwawet

  • Moderator (Kemetic Orthodox Q&A)
  • Shemsu-Ankh
  • Country: us
Re: Dear Bast-Mut and Heru-wer
« Reply #10 on: November 02, 2016, 08:34:19 pm »
Agreeing with previous posts. Lots of love to all of you, Padjai.
Senebty,
Zat (She who makes Sekhmet laugh)
Sau apprentice

Sat Wepwawet-Yinepu her Hekatawy Alexandros (AUS) meryt Seshat-Nit-Nebthet her Heru-wer

Re: Dear Bast-Mut and Heru-wer
« Reply #11 on: November 02, 2016, 09:48:32 pm »
*hugs*

It may not seem like it, but I know EXACTLY how you feel.
"Give sorrow a Sailor smile."
~ "Makenai" by Hanazawa Kae; Sailor Moon Stars, Season 5, episode 200

"Beyond this road, running on far and long, must surely be something we can believe in."
~ "Pure Heart" by Rikki; Final Fantasy VII, "Aerith's Theme"

Online Padjaiemweru

  • Shemsu-Ankh
  • Country: us
Re: Dear Bast-Mut and Heru-wer
« Reply #12 on: November 05, 2016, 11:36:41 pm »
Thank you all so much for your responses, both here and on Facebook. I am doing better than I had expected originally, but little random thing will bring on the tears unexpectedly.

I know the grieving process has just begun, but I thank you all for your kind thoughts, prayers, and encouragement.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Padjaiemweru
The Great Ones provide (for) me

Son of Bast-Mut and Heru-wer
Beloved of Sekhmet-Hethert, Seshat-Nit-Nebthet, and Set

(Avatar based on work by Jennie Breedon)

 


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