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AmongTheMarshes:
Hi,

I’ll try not to bore too much with my newbie post! Thanks for any who read and can offer any advice! I’m having a sort of conundrum and I’m not sure how to deal with it, so I feel the best way is to give a little background as to why I’m here:

I’ve considered myself Pagan for a quite a few years now and have had various interests under this wide umbrella, like Heathenism and Traditional Wicca (still an interest for many reasons).

I’ve always yearned for a devotional relationship with the Gods, but nothing has quite stuck (or I’ve been lazy and haven’t tried hard enough?) and for a long time I’ve felt faithless in “something bigger” —despite still identifying with the Pagan label.

This past year has been quite a fallow time—and I’m sure it has been for many! My life has been working from home—which I’m so thankful for the opportunity and realize many aren’t as privileged—though I find myself in the situation that work has been even busier than pre-COVID.

This past summer I began to take an interest in Egypt which led me to learning more about modern Kemeticism and eventually led me to finding Kemetic Orthodoxy. I’ve been researching ever since (and lurking on the forums! ;) )

While reading as many books as I can, including Hornung, Teeter, and the Prayerbook, my prayers have been “Please let me know if this is where I’m supposed to go. Please let me know if this is something for me. Please let me know if you’re interested in having me as your devotee!”

That has been the sum of my prayers since at least September.

I chose not to apply for the beginner class in October. Mostly just due to being unsure and worried I would be wasting the time of people who were sure this is where they were supposed to be.


After more praying and asking for signs, I think I finally got what I asked for (though, honestly I still have doubts).

I’m a big jewelry wearer: always wearing rings, earring, pendants, etc, and I often browse jewelry online for fun as a way to pass time (especially love reading reviews!).

One day, when doing a search for Eye of Horus jewelry, the first item to pop up was a small pendant with a falcon and stylized eye of Horus symbol with the words “You are what I want” written on the side.

I stopped and felt a deep sense of knowing I was meant to see that. I haven’t taken it off since.


But I’m still doubtful. Even after wearing those words.

I keep thinking if I should try and join this next beginners class to learn more about KO, or if should set aside these next few months to try and start a devotional practice with Netjur and then join the class after this class (June?)

A few questions:
 Is the February class still accepting applicants?
Did you have doubts or worries when in the beginners class? If so, what were your worries?

I suppose my biggest fears are that I could get to the end and find that KO isn’t the right fit. I do worry about wasting all these awesome teacher’s time as well.


I apologize for such a long welcome post! Thanks to all who get to the end! I’m typing on a tablet, so hopefully the formatting isn’t too terrible.

I appreciate any thoughts, comments, or advice!

Thank you!







Ha'autmuti:
Hello there!

Wow, that seems like such a powerful sign to be given--I got chills.

Hopefully one of the folks involved with the beginner's class can address your first question, but I wanted to comment really quick on the question of doubt... because I've been with this faith since 2014 and I still have doubts. Lots of them! All the time! Having doubts is not only okay, but I believe very strongly that it is a good thing. Unquestioning adherence to religious tenets and religious authorities has caused enough evil in the world.

I had no idea if I wanted to be part of KO or not when I took the beginner's class, and honestly I think that's where most people are. All I knew is that I was interested in it and I wanted to know more. And that's exactly the point of the beginner's class: learning about the religion and the community, so you can meaningfully evaluate whether or not it's for you. If you get through it and find that KO isn't for you, that's not a failure, and you haven't wasted anyone's time. In fact, it's done exactly what it's supposed to do: given you the tools to allow you to make an educated decision. On the flip side, I'm not sure how you'd make the decision that you definitely do want to be KO before taking the class. How could you know if you want to be part of something when you don't have all the information about what that something even is?

There's no pressure whatsoever to stick around after the beginner's class, though of course we always hope that people will. In fact, there's no pressure to stick around at any point: many people have been active, contributing members of the House for years and years, and then eventually found that their paths lead elsewhere--and that's completely okay!

In conclusion: yeah, I'd definitely go ahead and take the beginner's class. You would be more than welcome.

Amunraembia:
Hiya!

Ha’aut gave such wonderful advice, so I just wanted to comment and add just a tiny bit to it.

I also had my own doubts and ended up waiting a round of classes before applying to the next one. I still have doubts even though I just went through a significant spiritual revelation—doubts will never go away entirely and like Ha’aut, I think it’s healthy.

It looks as though application review for the next class starts after 20 February, so I’m guessing you have until then to submit your application. If it is submitted after that date, they will hold your application for the next class.

Great health and love,
Ewe

Beck88:
I agree. Doubts are normal. A faith that cannot stand up to any kind of scrutiny isn't worth much in my opinion.

I will also add not to worry about "wasting the time of people who are sure that this is where they were supposed to be". Part of the purpose of the beginner's class is to learn about Kemetic Orthodoxy and use that information to decide if this community and it's beliefs are right for you. There is a time commitment involved. A minimal one but it is there (maybe a few hours a week for four or so months). If at the end of that time you decide that Kemetic Orthodoxy isn't for you? That's fine. You will have wasted no one's time. You will instead have gained knowledge about this particular faith and made such a decision from the position of knowledge instead of ignorance.

AmongTheMarshes:
Thanks to all three of you who replied!Yes, I’m sure doubts are good thing at the end of the day (and they’ll probably never go away completely).

You three have convinced me to do some serious thinking for “four days” as the application suggests, so that’s what I’ll do. 🙂

I’m hoping to have my decision made by Monday evening so that I can submit my application on time with a few day’s wiggle room. Wouldn’t that be ironic if this class was already full? D’oh! 😳


I do have a question about the class for anyone willing to answer. I’ve read that it’s more about the structure of KO and possibly less about philosophizing on Netjur, but do you feel the class challenged (in a good way) you and you then benefitted from joining as a whole? The concept of Ma’at really appeals to me personally, so I do hope that topics like this are covered in the class.


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