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Author Topic: Is a Spirit in me..?  (Read 6384 times)

Is a Spirit in me..?
« on: September 30, 2010, 09:19:22 pm »
Hello everyone. I'm very new here still, but I feel compelled to share this and ask everyone their thoughts on this. First, the other day, I recieved terrible news from my doctor. He took me off all of my pain medications (I supposedly have fibromyalgia and have severe back problems developing) because he felt I was addicted to them. Having been on them for my disease for years now, I'm sure I am, but he gave me nothing for my very real back pain. He was very arrogant and mean about the whole thing. My mother was addicted to pain medication and died of an over-dose, so I know all about addictions, and know I'm not at that level, like he believes.

When I left the office, I was so angry, I could feel my anger overflowing in my body. It seeped into my mind and put very violent visions in my head. I managed to bind my anger and seal it away for the time being, but in doing this, I feel my other powers going wild. My energies are swirling around me like orbs.

I decided to do a ritual, asking of Aset (the Goddess' I feel the most connected to) and any other God or Goddess', Spirits, anything to give me a sign, help me, show me the way to cure my broken body. As I did, my energies were still flowing out of control.

This was earlier today. As of this moment, I can feel a Spirit within me. My chest is tight, my senses are going wild.. things smell different, taste funny, and even my eyesight feels a little blurry. I'm exhausted. I'm a smoker as well, and I lit up a cigerette earlier (I know it's bad, I will give it up one day I promise!) and the cigerette tasted so strange! I felt like it was the first time lighting up.

Could anyone tell me.. Is there a Spirit within me due to my ritual earlier asking for help in any way possible? Or is my out-of-control energy attracting Spirits.. or worse.. is it sucking Spirits into me?

Any points of view, advice, or comments would be great.. Thank you!


Offline Sedjemes

  • Semer-Wati
  • Shemsu-Ankh
  • Country: us
Re: Is a Spirit in me..?
« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2010, 09:24:47 pm »
Hotep Tiffany,

My first advice is to seek other medical opinions first and foremost. Doctors being human can be incorrect.  And one should know the state of one's health when judging anything. Our gods have also always said that we should do what is necessary and appropriate to safeguard our health--that includes seeking proper medical attention, not just expecting Netjer to fix it all.

As to the rest, I would not even attempt to judge. Not without knowing more about the appropriate things you should be doing for your health.
Khenmetaset ("Aset Gladdens")
Sedjemes ("She listens")
Daughter of Aset-Serqet, Meryt Ra her Sekhmet
Heri-Sesheta Aset-Serqet

Re: Is a Spirit in me..?
« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2010, 09:37:07 pm »
Thank you so much for the response!

I forgot to mention in my original posting that my doctor situation is quite diar.. I live in a small town, miles and miles away from other towns.. and I've been trying to find a doctor for a long time, only to hear they are not accepting new patients.

The doctor I found was brand new to the area and I caught him as he was accepting patients.

Though I do plan to call every doctor I can and make my rounds again.. It's difficult in my small area to find a doctor who will see new patients. :(

It's a big problem, one I've been fighting for so long. I try to keep my hopes held high though, and thank you again for your take on it!

Offline The Tai'awepwawet System

  • Shemsu-Ankh
  • Country: scotland
Re: Is a Spirit in me..?
« Reply #3 on: September 30, 2010, 10:14:46 pm »
Quote from: TiffanyL
When I left the office, I was so angry, I could feel my anger overflowing in my body. It seeped into my mind and put very violent visions in my head. I managed to bind my anger and seal it away for the time being

Do not do this. I cannot emphasise enough how strongly I feel about this.

When you lock down emotions like anger and shove them into little boxes, you do not make them go away. You just put them into a place where they affect your body but you are not processing them. This is *so unhealthy*, and if you get into that habit it is horrific to try and break.

It is okay to feel angry, it is okay to have images of violence in your head. Your doctor was a prick. You were justifiably enraged. You did not hurt anyone, but instead you need to let yourself *just be angry*. Let yourself be mad at him, let yourself imagine violence, and then get yourself home and play some games that involve guns or war or unrealistic wanton violence. (Longer term, I cannot praise martial arts enough. Physical exercise, especially 'violent' exercise, is a must to diffuse anger in the long run if you have issues.)

Sometimes things feel different because of your body's own reactions. Your state of mind, the chemicals in your blood and brain, these affect how your body feels, how things smell and taste (and oh how we can vouch for that...). If it is energy, it need not be a spirit. Again, all it takes is for you to be stressed out and throwing your system out of whack.

Settle down, ground yourself, and *stop thinking about it*. It's a simple fact of anxiety, it's [censored] circular. You get anxious, then you worry about the sensation of being anxious, which makes you more anxious, which makes the feelings worse and you more worried. Watch a movie or something, read a book.

Tjema'awy | Sekhemib
Meset Wepwawet her (Hekatawy Alexandros)|
Meryt Serqet, Bast, Ra-Heruakhety, Hethert-Amenti, Nit-Nebthet-Seshat, her Sekhmet-Hethert
Our Blog, Links to Carrd, Incense + Perfume Spreadsheets

Offline Bestekeni

  • Semer-Wati
  • Shemsu-Ankh
  • Country: us
Re: Is a Spirit in me..?
« Reply #4 on: September 30, 2010, 10:21:58 pm »
If you are addicted to your medication, you may find that after formal recovery, your back pain lessens or even goes away entirely.  Sometimes, the (very real!) pain you feel is your neuroreceptors craving the drug.
Fedw diviner for Bes
Sat Bes her Hekatawy Alexandros (AUS)
Meryt Heru-wer her Amun-Ra her Bast

Re: Is a Spirit in me..?
« Reply #5 on: October 01, 2010, 08:17:12 am »
I will kind of echo what Taia said here, I would highly suggest doing something sort of destructive, but safe (like, a punching bag comes to mind). You need an outlet. Tamping down anger isn't going to help, in fact it will make it grow. Try to find a safe way to release it.

Also, some nice chamomile tea might soothe your nerves...?

Sat Aset, meryt Wepwawet her Renenutet

Re: Is a Spirit in me..?
« Reply #6 on: October 01, 2010, 11:35:34 am »
Thank you to everyone for their advice and care about this!

After thinking upon everything said, I decided to let my anger out. As I went to bed last night, I let myself have those horrid violent images, felt my heart beat fast as I thought about what had happened, and soon after I must admit, though I don't feel 100 percent, I was able to sleep peacefully, my chest doesn't hurt this morning, and I feel more at ease.

I often find I get angry at myself for thinking about such violent things, as I'm not a violent person, when a thought of me going violently crazes arises in my thoughts, I shoo it away with a broom and try and never speak of it again.

Thank you everyone for your help once again, I feel much better thanks to your encouraging words. :)

Offline Aashemmuti

  • Shemsu
  • Country: 00
Re: Is a Spirit in me..?
« Reply #7 on: October 01, 2010, 11:53:11 am »
I'd suggest "grounding" your energy, or envisioning it flowing into Mother Earth. She has the power to take that energy and transmute it, transform it into something beneficial - much like stinky dung that becomes manure to help grow crops. Or you can connect with Father Earth, depending on how you relate to the Earth :)
Sat Sekhmet-Hethert her Bast, Meryt Shu her Sokar-Wesir.

Re: Is a Spirit in me..?
« Reply #8 on: October 01, 2010, 09:37:20 pm »
While I am certainly not versed in this particular subject... I will give you my first impressions...

One - medications/changes in medication can alter your taste buds...

Two - "Tamping" down ANY emotion is NEVER a good thing.  Granted there are appropriate places and times for expressing this anger.  But not allowing yourself to experience it is very unhealthy.

Three- I believe that the physical body is in part a mirror of the spiritual/emotional/mental body.  Perhaps dealing with your stronger emotions that you have previously locked up will help with some of your physical ailments.

Four - While I believe a second opinion in definitely needed if you can get one, seeing as this doctor may not truly have your best interests in mind.  It may be a good thing to have a time of detoxification.  Try going for a period of time without the medication, possibly looking into alternative methods of coping with pain like meditation, etc...

Give your body the time to recoup from all the medications you've been taking...
Daughter of Ptah and Bast
Beloved of Nebthet-Nit-Seshat and Heru-wer

Offline Seshagemseger

  • Divined Remetj
Re: Is a Spirit in me..?
« Reply #9 on: October 04, 2010, 10:06:04 am »
Em hotep!

In my opinion, anything one experiences spiritually while one's body is in a changing or unbalanced state is immediately suspect -- this is part of why ritual purity is more than just making sure one is clean on the outside.

An idea I've seen recently is that humor is the other side of anger, and defuses it very well.  I haven't read The Cow In The Parking Lot yet but it's on my list.  I am no psychologist, but I've read recently that trying to get rid of anger through catharsis turns out to not really be much better than bottling it up, and *letting go* of it is best.  And I'm no doctor either, but the state of the body definitely can affect emotions -- several years ago I thought I probably had clinical depression, and it turned out, it was side effects from diabetes.
Child of Seshat
Beloved of Hethert, Serqet, and Shu / Facebook / LiveJournal

Offline Niheri

  • Shemsu
Re: Is a Spirit in me..?
« Reply #10 on: October 05, 2010, 03:52:42 am »
Hello, Tiffany,

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time at the moment, and I can really sympathise with your disappointment and anger over your doctor (mine is so hopeless I actually let myself get quite ill at one point as I knew she would take no notice of me).

Depending on how bad your back pain is, (in so much as restricted movement goes), I would suggest trying to find a stream or river and "giving" your anger and frustration to the water. (If you can't do that, a running tap will work). It can be very cleansing and refreshing, especially if you can visualise the "bad" energy flowing away. An offering of "peace" to the water afterwards as a thankyou is nice :).

I wish you luck.
Daughter of Wepwawet-Yinepu

Beloved of Set and Amun-Ra.


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